Recently my youngest sister has started to go to private school in which you attend one day and continue studying the rest of the week at home. A new experience, somewhat, after being homeschooled all her life.
This post is about one of her assignments…
Tomato sauce splattered all over the kitchen, candle wax spilled, failed experiment with beans which absolutely refused to sprout–all these are some of the most extreme casualties of science experiments that we have experienced as homeschooled kids.
Not very extreme or drastic, I know.
But when it comes to the weirdest, most shocking, entirely random, funniest experiment that leaves you with a “WHAAAA?” expression of your face you can’t believe a teacher actually asked a student to do it…
the 6th grade science experiment of my 11-year-old sister beats them all.
Her assignment: Get an egg. Paint a face on the egg. Name the egg. Put paper clothes on the egg. Make a bed for the egg. Carry the egg around with you everywhere, and oh… guess what? Whatever you’re thinking, you did not see this coming…
TREAT THE EGG AS YOUR CHILD.
Wait. Have I mentioned, it’s and EGG!?!?!?!
Have I got the “WHAAA…” expression on your face and made you laugh already?
Good. Because it’s all real.
I mean, SERIOUSLY? AND EGG??? *squeaky scream* Treat it as your CHILD? (which includes feeding it… as if that is even humanly possible)
When my sister told me this with the most shocked and I-cannot-believe-this expression I have ever seen during school time, my eyes popped as wide as they could go.
Silence… then: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I laughed so hard tears started forming in my eyes, my stomach started hurting … and just thinking about it right now, I’m laughing again.
The worst part is you HAVE to do it and present your… er… kid… to your teacher. But even worse, she will be graded on how well she took care of the thing and all the fun things they did together…
I know I’ve already said this, but it’s so unbelievable I can’t help but say it again, SERIOUSLY!?!? AN EGG!?!?! YOU’RE KID?? GRADED!?!?!
*Breathes in. Still with a huge grin on my face which could turn into another fit of laughter any minute…*
Oops, here it goes again. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ahem. Okay, let’s relax and look at this in a different, business-like angle.
Alright, so they’re trying to teach kid’s responsibility. That’s great! But… umm… couldn’t they have thought of a more suitable object for the experiment? Something that is not quite so breakable or makes you have this mental-picture-conversation in your mind:
“Hello! What are you doing?”
“Oh, hi! I’m taking care of my child.” shows person the egg.
“Yes, don’t you think he’s the most adorable child ever?”
Person’s brow pulls together as he exclaims “Errr…” while thinking: CHICKEN!?!?
I mean, really. Isn’t that what an egg makes you think of–> chicken? Seriously, isn’t that one of the worst mental pictures you could ever get??? And egg popping out of…
Okay, let’s not go there.
I mean, think about it, wouldn’t a Lego man, stuffed animal, paper figure, (for girls) a dolly, a rock… I mean, even a potatoe or orange or SOMETHING!…. ANYTHING! Be ten times better than an EGG???
It would also save a WHOOOOLE lot of questions, if you ask me.
Who looks twice at a kid carrying a Lego man, paper figure (which may I say, you can easily HIDE), stuffed animal, doll, rock, I mean, even an orange can go with the excuse of becoming a snack later on during the day… but OOOH NO! It HAD to be an egg… THE object that will make people look twice.
Well, I’ll give it this. Sure beats all I’ve ever heard or thought humanly possible as weird.
And now, for the famous subject of my post. May your life be long and may your joy not shatter or life come crashing down.